Howdy


a few weeks ago, my life of glitz and glamour brought me to the Pennsylvania Turnpike. I was heading to Stroudsburg to participate in a debate early the next morning on the merits (utterly lacking) of a Constitutional Convention. I had grown tired of my book on tape. The "Unabridged Oxford Dictionary" started well. But the time we got into the L's, I felt I needed a break. So after "Lappet - The fold of a Garment," I turned on the radio.

I listened to a press conference given by the Jan Brewer, the Governor of Arizona. She had just signed an immigration bill which requires the police to question, and demand ID papers from anyone they suspect of being in the country illegally. She claimed that she didn't think this would lead to racial profiling. But I was incredulous (good thing I had already listened to the "I" chapter on my dictionary tape).

I do try not to be cynical. (I also try not to be balding, with equal success.) I'd like to believe that just because Arizona is on the Mexican border, and that Mexicans sometimes have darker skin, that all hispanics and dark skinned people won't become targets of the new law. I'm struggling to believe that the following conversations will be common in Arizona Police Stations:

Booking Sargent

What do we have tonight?

Police Officer

Brought in a bunch of guys I suspect of being illegals.

When asked, they couldn't produce their papers.

Booking Sargent

Ok, who's first?

Police Officer

Aðalbjörg Hólmfríður.

Booking Sargent

How do you spell that?

Police Officer

Just like it sounds.

Booking Sargent

2 oomlouts and 2 accent graves?

Police Officer

Exactly. He's from Iceland. Says he's flew here.
But I bet he hopped the fence.

Booking Sargent

From Iceland?

Police Officer

Yeah. We got a fence with Iceland, right?

Booking Sargent

Yeah, I think so. Who else you got?

Police Officer

Arnbjorg Fritjof

Booking Seargent

Norweigian huh? Why'd you pull him over?

Police Officer

Well, he looked so pale. Plus, he was carrying
Otter Cheese

Booking Sargent

Dead giveway.

Police Officer

And of course, no papers.

Booking Sargent

Next?

Police Officer

Jyrki Pong Pong Jaakopi

Booking Sargent

Where from?

Police Officer

Finland

Booking Sargent

What made you suspect he wasn't from
here?

Police Officer

I heard him singing the Finish National
Anthem.

Booking Sargent

How did you know it was the Finish
National Anthem?

Police Officer

Not too many songs start "Oh Hail
Majestic Finland!"

Booking Sargent

Good Point.

While I am hopeful, I must confess that I am not optimistic. The law says that being a member of any racial or ethnic group cannot be the "sole" reason to detain someone, but it can be a reason. In other words, if you see a Hispanic person, you can conclude, at least in part, that this person could be illegal.

This is very troubling. First, the overwhelming majority of people of Hispanic origin are here legally. Yet because their skin is a bit browner, they will be required, under the law, to carry ID with them wherever they go. So if a fitness-conscious young, legal Hispanic man goes for a jog, bringing nothing more than his Green Apple flavored running goo, and his I-POD loaded with Ethel Merman (a favorite among young Hispanic males I'm led to believe) then he risks being arrested.

I'm sure that everything will be straightened out after only a few hours in the local jail. Once his family is located and comes to the jail with documentation, everything will be coming up roses again. And I'm sure that Governor Brewer would have no problem with her children being detained and taken to jail because of their ethnicity. But then again, that's probably not something she's going to have to worry about, is it?